so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
