I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Randomize
