Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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