...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
