i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
