You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
