I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Randomize