so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Randomize
