yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
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