Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
