The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
