No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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