So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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