You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
