Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
