i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
