Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
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