I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
