You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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