i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Randomize
