shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
