It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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