oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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