We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
