can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
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