I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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