i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
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