PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
