I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
