I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
