So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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