i jhust puked up my retainher.
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Randomize
