The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
