The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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