I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Randomize
