Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
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