No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
