We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
