He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
