your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
