she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Randomize
