I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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