when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
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I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
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You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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