Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
