My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
