No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
