cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
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Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
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You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize