I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Randomize
