No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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