i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
