dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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