did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
