I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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