Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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