He asked to "fluff my boner.."
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Randomize
