he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
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