considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
