Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
