I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
