Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
