I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
