I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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