she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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