I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
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